What do these words even mean to me? What could I do to be courageous to be deemed wise? They are both characteristics that I aspire to. I have faced quite a bit of adversity in my day, but I don't really think I give myself any credit at all for being courageous. Many with my condition give up and let others take care of them. It truly is harder for me than the average person. That is not just a bull shit line to give myself slack. Having a mental illness is a test of courage every damn day you are alive. Can you really imagine what it is like to completely loose control at times? Not from doing drugs just from your own brains chemistry taking you on the most intense acid trip you have ever been on. Luckily most of my trips have been positive. Extremely positive. They are what gives me inspiration for a hope for humanity, in fact. The darker side. Being locked down in a mental ward. That is one scary situation. You are cold and alone, you have abusive staff that are bored, tired or don't give a fuck about the job they are doing. I have come away bruised a few times. There is not reason in the world 4-6 men should not be able to subdue a 5'2" female weighing about 125 pounds. There is no need to body slam her to the ground face first. That is just not the way to treat the mentally ill. It is really so easy for someone to get in touch with my alternate reality. They just have to listen and show true compassion. If this happens I can be calmed instantly. I never used to be afraid of needles, but after tons of shots of Thorazine in the ass you get a little fearful. I will tell you that hurts like a mother fucker. WOW. And honestly it is scary sometimes because some of the other patients are bigger and more violent. I'm not really sure why they don't separate the men and women? That seems a bit strange really. Especially since hyper sexuality is one of the hallmarks of a manic episode? This has to make the job of the techs a nightmare. Babysitting and the temptation. Not all guys can resist a full blow manic hottie coming on full power. I'm sure that is not easy. Why make that an issue. Sometimes segregation is a good thing.
So do I earn the badge of courage, how could I have ever doubted it?
Wisdom comes from life experience making mistakes and learning from them. I have made plenty of mistakes in my life. Man have I. I try very hard to learn from them. I know the right thing to do, but sometimes it's hard to do the right thing because of fear. Back to the courage lesson, I suppose. Change is difficult. Evolution in necessary. Why would anyone want to remain exactly as they are? My whole life's goal is to evolve into the best iteration of myself that there is. Wisdom is the ability to grow, learn, change, contribute, care and give to others selflessly. Imparting knowledge and experience to anyone who wants to learn from you. Everyone has something they can teach, you just have to pay attention to the lessons they are giving out. If someone is willing to bear their soul they have a good reason. Pay attention to them because your peers are your greatest teachers.
The ability to learn from others mistakes and life experiences is what transforms you from a student to a Master.
So do I earn the badge of courage, how could I have ever doubted it?
Wisdom comes from life experience making mistakes and learning from them. I have made plenty of mistakes in my life. Man have I. I try very hard to learn from them. I know the right thing to do, but sometimes it's hard to do the right thing because of fear. Back to the courage lesson, I suppose. Change is difficult. Evolution in necessary. Why would anyone want to remain exactly as they are? My whole life's goal is to evolve into the best iteration of myself that there is. Wisdom is the ability to grow, learn, change, contribute, care and give to others selflessly. Imparting knowledge and experience to anyone who wants to learn from you. Everyone has something they can teach, you just have to pay attention to the lessons they are giving out. If someone is willing to bear their soul they have a good reason. Pay attention to them because your peers are your greatest teachers.
The ability to learn from others mistakes and life experiences is what transforms you from a student to a Master.
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